Friday, June 12, 2015

Momager Dopeness | How to Raise an Adult

I love reading while on vacation so when the opportunity to review the new book, "How to Raise an Adult"  by Julie Lythcott-Haims, was offered to me it was like a Steph Curry 3 point shot -- Perfect!  After all a gifted advance copy puts me in VIP status and what girl doesn't just love that?

Now when I saw the title and read the description I thought to myself the book must be about helicopter parenting.  You know those parents that cut the crust from their kids PB & J or that volunteer so much at school people think they work there.  I wasn't too far off base but what I wasn't expecting is how much Kris Jennering (yes I made up that term) I was actually doing with my own heartbeats.  I mean if there was a definition in the encyclopedia for "over parenting" you'd see me waving in a picture next to it.  What I love about the author however is that she admits to being a little bit guilty of it too.  She admits to a time that she was over anxious waiting on her young son to walk home alone after dark one evening.  The walk was less than 10 minutes from home.  So even though I was flipping the pages cringing about my single mama parental mistakes I knew I wasn't alone but still could use some knowledge being dropped in this book.

I broke down what I learned from the book like this:

The Deal:  I am a true Momager when it comes to the court.  Yelling at refs, having "little" chats with coaches and after game talks with The Phenom are part of the routine around here.  But it just doesn't end with him, The Mogul just had to have the customized lei for her....8th grade graduation.  It was so heavy it annoyed her the entire night.

The Rationale:  About 5 years ago my brood and I moved from big city Detroit to small town Bakersfield with no family in town.  After a divorce, becoming a single mom and being in a new city drew me closer to my kids.  I was the only dotting parent and I took that role pretty seriously.  This isn't an excuse just the reality.

The Realization:  So after reading the book I was able to look at our situation and make some evaluations.
Fact 1.  If The Phenom was hungry he'd rather hear the noise from his stomach instead of making cereal.
Fact 2.  The Mogul is helpful but has lately been wanting On-Demand attention.
Fact 3.  I was going to be leaving them on vacation with my parents and was concerned I'd be exposed for the overbearing parent I had turned in to.  Well maybe I have been one all along.

The Game Plan:   Knowing that its time for me to Raise Adults and possibly let The Phenom look for his own summer job [WooooWeee I can see that teen-age side eye] and The Mogul have more chances at other social activities that don't include me tagging along a game plan is necessary.  The good thing is when I leave my beautiful vacation we all are going to have a short separation, what a great time to apply my new found knowledge.  I have faith that things will go well for them during our time apart.  Even though once at the airport after exchanging Northwest tears with The Mogul as I walked to the ticket counter The Phenom gave me the thumbs up to let me know all was going to be fine.   I was sure then that our next month apart would give them some time to express independence and me to let them.  This parenting job isn't easy but I defiantly want to raise adults, ones that chase their dreams and not mine!

You can win a copy of the book How to Raise an Adult with The Curvy Momager Summer Reading
Giveaway.  Rules and details can be found on my social media starting Sunday June 14th.  Be sure to check it out Momagers, let's raise the next generation of independent thinkers and not high achievers because of parental involvement.  Here's a snippet from the book:

"Why did parenting change from preparing our kids for life to protecting them from life, which means they're not prepared to live life on their own?"

Plenty of great information, data and humorous stories make this book a great summer reading experience.  You can learn more about the book here: http://clvr.li/htraa15 or by clicking this link for the video book trailer, How to Raise an Adult.


I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.

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